If you’ve heard the phrase “Aunty, go and marry!” or “Does Emma that is
3 years younger than you and is married have 2 heads?”, you’re most likely a
single Nigerian. Quite a number of things are ascribed to the single status in
Nigeria. Family and friends have a particular tag for you and seem to separate
you from activities involving your married counterparts.
A typical Nigerian home will as a matter of fact ring it always in your
ears that you need to get a partner or remind you of your need to visit a
prayer house if you’re of marriage age and not seeding to their demands. Some
things are peculiar to being single in Nigeria and I bet a lot of us can relate
to these things.
You Do Everything At Home
If you’re single, done with school and still living with your parents,
you’d most probably be doing all the house chores. You may even have secured
employment, but your parents and siblings want to have none of that and will
tell you as much. They will even go out and tell you that respect comes with
marriage and you can do nothing than bear it till the gods of marriage smile on
you.
Dating Is Expensive
You’re single and you really can’t wait to change the status but you
must pass through the rigours of dating. You’ve got no choice than to have a
hole in your pocket especially if you’re a man since you’re expected to foot
the bills at every single outing. Dating is extremely expensive in Nigeria
especially if you want to weigh your options and go on multiple dates with
multiple people. With movies, shawarma and drinks on the cards, you’d have a
hole in your wallet in no time. But that’s still better since you have the hope
of getting someone than having to face the brunt of your parents and family.
Being single entails you doing a lot of mental work on yourself. You
keep asking yourself if there’s no spiritual hand in your matter and if there’s
something you’re doing wrong. This can lead to depression but none of your
friends and family are having it simply because they believe depression is for
the white people. You’ve got to keep that smiling face on and trudge in till
you get out of the singles zone.
You Find It Difficult To Get People To Hang Out With You
This is even worse if most of your friends are married as it can be
pretty difficult for you to get your friends or family to hangout with you.
You’d keep on hearing remarks like, “Don’t you think it’s time you settle down
with a girl?” or “your man should be the one going shopping g with you!”
Because you’re single, no one is obligated to do anything for you especially
the things your friends are unwilling to do.
You Eat Alone
Being single entails you eating everything you cook without having
someone to share your meals with. It’s even worse when you still live with your
parents and you’d be getting that look that says “keep eating my food until you
become a fat shapeless cow!”
You’re The Third Wheel
The older you get, the more you find out that you’re more or less the
third wheel as everyone around you is pairing up. This will make simple things
like going to the movies and the pool a third-wheeling affair. No matter how
your married friends and those in a relationship insist that they love to have
you around, you just know that you’re interfering in their personal time. The
hand holding and kissing tells you you should say no on the next invitation.
Attending Weddings
Except you’re going to scan for potential partners at a wedding, nothing
is as worse as attending them alone. The moment you walk into a wedding venue,
you can literally feel the watchful eyes of friends and family filled with pity
at your singular status. You basically can’t wait to get out of there to hide
in a corner where you can avoid their questions.
You’d be getting a lot of pitiful look from friends and family who will
keep telling you you’re next. You have to be prepared to hear phrases like “We
will do your own wedding, In Jesus’ name,” and “God willing, I will be alive to
see your wedding.” Some will even go as far as telling you that “There are lots
of fine(nice) Nigerian boys out there” or ask, “What are you waiting for?”
You may even be lucky to get to have your relatives and friends
introduce you to someone in an attempt to link you up.
It’s however not all that bad as they mostly want to show concern for
your unmarried and single status. The peculiar nature of being single in
Nigeria is something to cherish even though it may be annoying at times.
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