Ever gone on a date
with a guy and it goes so well that you think, “This is it. He’s the one”?
Turns out, you’re not “the one” to him. He’s not even looking for “the one”;
he’s just looking for a casual hookup with no commitment.
You wish you knew this
before you agreed to a second, third, and fourth date, plus an introduction to
your friends and your three dogs.
So how can you avoid this type of guy?
Women’s Health
Magazine gives us 5 ways to determine whether or not he’s worth your time:
1. He’s not in a rush
to spend time with you.
According to
psychologist and dating Coach Jennifer B. Rhodes, a guy who seems too eager to
spend time with you may be more interested in hooking up than hanging out. And
when he loses interest, you can bet you’ll never see or hear from him again.
A guy who’s genuinely
interested in you will take his time, and be respectful of your time and
availability.
To determine which one
he is, Rhodes says that if he reaches out to you too early, ask him to wait and
see if he does, or runs the other way.
2. He texts and calls
back within a day.
An interested guy will
respond to your texts within 24 hours, and if you ask him to call you, he will,
says Rhodes. If he takes longer than 3 days, he may only be looking for
something more casual, not a commitment.
3. He can have deep
conversations with you.
Two days after the
first meeting, if your conversations go beyond the discussion of the newest
episode of Game of Thrones, he’s interested in a commitment, Rhodes says.
Conversations about
family, your childhood, and religious beliefs are just a few of the serious
topics you can both go on and on about. If he’s uncomfortable talking about
himself and his background, he’s not looking for anything serious.
4. He doesn't talk
about how awful his ex was.
Venting about an ex or
denying responsibility for a breakup can mean two things: 1) he’s not over her,
and 2) he’s not mature enough to handle a relationship.
Judy Rosenberg, a
clinical psychologist and dating coach, says that a guy who bad-mouths his ex
might be very bad at communication, which is vital in any healthy relationship.
5. He has healthy
relationships with family and friends.
Rosenberg says that a
guy who maintains healthy family relationships and friendships is a guy capable
of a healthy romantic relationship. Even caring for a pet signifies his
readiness for a commitment.
Within two days, ask
him how often he spends time with his family or friends. Rosenberg also says
that if many of his friends are in committed relationships, there’s a high
chance he’s looking for one, too.
So, before you jump
into anything with a guy, make sure he’s ready to commit to you, not just
string you along for the ride.
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